Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
