Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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