Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
