ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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