Kiss
Puke
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i dont even know how to be here
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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