we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize