Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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