It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
