You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Its about making memories worth repressing
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize