we're blogging at a bar
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
