You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize