just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
