You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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