I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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