I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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