Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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