party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
