Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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