I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
