i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
