all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
