Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
