Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
