Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you inspire me to be a worse person
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
