she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Mom said you looked used
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
