ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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