your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
