one might say we're banned from that church
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
