is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
