There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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