Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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