Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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