I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
