Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm like, not good at living.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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