It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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