is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
