Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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