i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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