I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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