Need sex. Gaining weight.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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