How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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