you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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