Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
