I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize