Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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