does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
