And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
