i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
