careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
