I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am spending my child support on dildos
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
