We're like a lot better than the average bears
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
