would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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