If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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