i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
