just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
