Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
