capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
