I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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