WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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