Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
