If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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