I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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