I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
