We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
