Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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