Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
