@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
