PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
